Looking back over these last several years I am awed at what the Lord has done for my family and myself. There are many things I do not understand, many that grieve me deeply to the core but even in the midst of the ugly I have felt held. At times only by a string -- but I've been held.
I am thankful for my husband who works so hard and tirelessly to provide for us, even when he is not feeling well. Even in times of unemployment he has sought work, sought the Lord and went through doors.
I am thankful for my children...they are respectful, obedient and they do love each other, even though I don't always understand the way boys show that love! (Kapow!!!) And they truly treasure their little sister. They do love the Lord, and I am praying they will become bolder in their faith.
I'm thankful for my Mom who has shown me, through her actions in the ugly, what it means to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus.
I'm thankful that the Lord is the same yesterday, today and forever. That HE sees the big picture. That HE is safe to trust. That HE loves me more than I will ever know.
Thankful, thankful, thankful for the many blessings HE has given to us.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Endings....Beginnings...
This summer has certainly been a full one! Not real sure that I've even had summer, still waiting for it to begin! However, time marches on and I find myself almost to the end of September!
Endings...began when the reality of this nasty business of getting old invaded a wonderful afternoon with my Dad. While enjoying the "Granny's Tea" at the nursing home, a code blue was announced and a flurry of activity began to swirl around a little old lady in a wheel chair. She was slumped forward and looking quite blue. After a few brief moments of chaos they wheeled her in her chair out of the recreation area. "Fred" a resident told us the next day that "they took someone out that night". I went to my room that night and sobbed myself to sleep, knowing that this is the last place on this earth for those most of those residents, for my Dad.
Endings...the drug protocol my Dad was on to help halt the progression of Alzheimer’s. We were told would see a rapid decline in memory shortly -- but the meds were not doing good any longer, he only scored a 3/30 on his yearly assessment.
Endings...Mom was down to visit us for three weeks!! It was wonderful to have her here. She enjoyed it thoroughly and it enabled her to have some time away and make some decisions that needed to be made. She's made the decision to find her own apartment -- we are praying the Lord would provide this for her quickly and affordably. She has sacrificed her whole life and I'm praying the Lord would just bless her with the right place, for the right price and that she would just love it!! Mom is looking forward to moving, there have been several significant changes in her housing and this needs to happen, and happen soon!
Beginnings...My visit home concluded with the celebration of one of our flower girls wedding. The beginning of a new family. It was a delightful outdoor ceremony in the country. It was so wonderful to see so many of my cousins and aunts and uncles...it made me ache for my family. That longing of wanting to be closer to my family, being able to get together with them more often...that sense of community I've still not found down here -- may never find here on earth.
Beginnings...The school year has brought many changes. Watching my boys change into young men -- especially the older two. They've been lifting weights, shaving more, deeper voices, more responsible....They are not my little boys anymore. But it has been fun to watch them begin to develop their identity and "find their place" with their friends, school, family.
Beginnings...Home school! Emily-Joy and I have certainly enjoyed this venture! It is a learning process for both of us, but we are slowly developing into a routine and certainly accomplishing a lot in these past few weeks. We are so excited to be headed down this road! I have my little girl back for a little longer. Watching the stress and tension release from her as she realized she was not going back to regular school! She has started wearing dresses again and playing with her toys...she misses some of her friends, and we are certainly looking forward to having them over, at the same time she is looking forward to making some new friends in the home school community.
And here we are, about to begin autumn! Where did summer go? I did not have one! Ack! Not ready for fall, but here it comes. I find myself looking to the Lord to be: "my strong tower. My fortress when I'm weak." I only want to see His face and not all that is before me. I need my Father's strength to get me through this season. A season that holds so many "what ifs"! But really: "WHAT IF"?? Is the Lord not in control? There is a perfect ending one day, until then this chapter may not end perfectly, but: "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other." (Eclesiastes7:14A) I look forward to the perfect ending, until then I will keep living one chapter at a time!
Endings...began when the reality of this nasty business of getting old invaded a wonderful afternoon with my Dad. While enjoying the "Granny's Tea" at the nursing home, a code blue was announced and a flurry of activity began to swirl around a little old lady in a wheel chair. She was slumped forward and looking quite blue. After a few brief moments of chaos they wheeled her in her chair out of the recreation area. "Fred" a resident told us the next day that "they took someone out that night". I went to my room that night and sobbed myself to sleep, knowing that this is the last place on this earth for those most of those residents, for my Dad.
Endings...the drug protocol my Dad was on to help halt the progression of Alzheimer’s. We were told would see a rapid decline in memory shortly -- but the meds were not doing good any longer, he only scored a 3/30 on his yearly assessment.
Endings...Mom was down to visit us for three weeks!! It was wonderful to have her here. She enjoyed it thoroughly and it enabled her to have some time away and make some decisions that needed to be made. She's made the decision to find her own apartment -- we are praying the Lord would provide this for her quickly and affordably. She has sacrificed her whole life and I'm praying the Lord would just bless her with the right place, for the right price and that she would just love it!! Mom is looking forward to moving, there have been several significant changes in her housing and this needs to happen, and happen soon!
Beginnings...My visit home concluded with the celebration of one of our flower girls wedding. The beginning of a new family. It was a delightful outdoor ceremony in the country. It was so wonderful to see so many of my cousins and aunts and uncles...it made me ache for my family. That longing of wanting to be closer to my family, being able to get together with them more often...that sense of community I've still not found down here -- may never find here on earth.
Beginnings...The school year has brought many changes. Watching my boys change into young men -- especially the older two. They've been lifting weights, shaving more, deeper voices, more responsible....They are not my little boys anymore. But it has been fun to watch them begin to develop their identity and "find their place" with their friends, school, family.
Beginnings...Home school! Emily-Joy and I have certainly enjoyed this venture! It is a learning process for both of us, but we are slowly developing into a routine and certainly accomplishing a lot in these past few weeks. We are so excited to be headed down this road! I have my little girl back for a little longer. Watching the stress and tension release from her as she realized she was not going back to regular school! She has started wearing dresses again and playing with her toys...she misses some of her friends, and we are certainly looking forward to having them over, at the same time she is looking forward to making some new friends in the home school community.
And here we are, about to begin autumn! Where did summer go? I did not have one! Ack! Not ready for fall, but here it comes. I find myself looking to the Lord to be: "my strong tower. My fortress when I'm weak." I only want to see His face and not all that is before me. I need my Father's strength to get me through this season. A season that holds so many "what ifs"! But really: "WHAT IF"?? Is the Lord not in control? There is a perfect ending one day, until then this chapter may not end perfectly, but: "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other." (Eclesiastes7:14A) I look forward to the perfect ending, until then I will keep living one chapter at a time!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Summer...
Summer has kicked in full blast! I love having the kids home; even through the times they drive me crazy!! :) It has been a bit of a different start to summer this year. Normally we would have already been at my growing up home visiting for a couple of weeks. Helping my Mom and visiting Dad in the nursing home...this year we are still home. We are looking forward to going on vacation soon -- it's just that dates are so up in the air with dh having been unemployed for so long, and now being so new at a job he does not have time to take off.
Part of the delay has been that my cousins daughter is getting married at the end of August and I would really like to be there for the wedding...I'm just praying for wisdom!
This moment finds me having some quiet time. The kids are working on a fort with other kids from the neighbourhood, riding their bikes and just enjoying the break from routine. Tomorrow the boys will be going to paint Will's great Grandmas house, so it will just be Emily and I. I have a ton of chores to get caught up on before I get behind again!!! Soooo...I'd better sign off and make some lists. Finding myself really struggling lately on finding balance...
Have a great afternoon!
Part of the delay has been that my cousins daughter is getting married at the end of August and I would really like to be there for the wedding...I'm just praying for wisdom!
This moment finds me having some quiet time. The kids are working on a fort with other kids from the neighbourhood, riding their bikes and just enjoying the break from routine. Tomorrow the boys will be going to paint Will's great Grandmas house, so it will just be Emily and I. I have a ton of chores to get caught up on before I get behind again!!! Soooo...I'd better sign off and make some lists. Finding myself really struggling lately on finding balance...
Have a great afternoon!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Learning curve continued...
It's hard to believe almost a month has flown by...again!!! Though, it has been a good month. We have all learned lots, and continue to learn. It's been a good thing! My son has been learning. We have been learning. He does honor us by his obedience, most of the time. He's been on a group date with K. He has invited her to church, and she came on Sunday. She heard the Message! Our pastor gives it loud and clear! She was warmly welcomed - proud of our church for that. My understanding is that she attends another church in town, just not real clear on her relationship to Christ. She is very sweet! In fact, she FB friended me!
What am I learning? I'm learning to be an encourager. Encouraging my son to read his Bible and seek God's will for his life. Encouraging my children to turn over their will to the Father's will. I'm learning to trust that we've raised our son right and that he will make good decisions. I'm learning to trust my Father with the most precious gifts I've ever been given, my children. It is a continual process of learning to trust for me, just when I think I've made progress I feel thrown back to the beginning line! I'm learning to be encouraged by the truths of Christ.
It looks like the winds have calmed a bit in these stormy waters; so we are able to see that learning curve a little more clearly. In seeing it more clearly it is easier to take it one step at a time, one prayer at a time, one word at a time.
Part of this learning curve for me has involved a former fiance of mine to come back into the picture. (Gotta love FB!) At my husband's suggestion I accepted a friend request from J.'s wife's FB page. Some correspondence brought some much needed closure for me (closure that I didn't realize I even needed ~ isn't God good?) It also brought me clearer vision. Lessons that were learned, that the Lord knew I needed in my life. Lessons that were taught when I was around my son's age. Excited to see how the Lord's going to work in my son's life, my life and the life of oru family.
Trusting HIM! He who knows what is best for me, even when I don't see it or realize it!
What am I learning? I'm learning to be an encourager. Encouraging my son to read his Bible and seek God's will for his life. Encouraging my children to turn over their will to the Father's will. I'm learning to trust that we've raised our son right and that he will make good decisions. I'm learning to trust my Father with the most precious gifts I've ever been given, my children. It is a continual process of learning to trust for me, just when I think I've made progress I feel thrown back to the beginning line! I'm learning to be encouraged by the truths of Christ.
It looks like the winds have calmed a bit in these stormy waters; so we are able to see that learning curve a little more clearly. In seeing it more clearly it is easier to take it one step at a time, one prayer at a time, one word at a time.
Part of this learning curve for me has involved a former fiance of mine to come back into the picture. (Gotta love FB!) At my husband's suggestion I accepted a friend request from J.'s wife's FB page. Some correspondence brought some much needed closure for me (closure that I didn't realize I even needed ~ isn't God good?) It also brought me clearer vision. Lessons that were learned, that the Lord knew I needed in my life. Lessons that were taught when I was around my son's age. Excited to see how the Lord's going to work in my son's life, my life and the life of oru family.
Trusting HIM! He who knows what is best for me, even when I don't see it or realize it!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Warning! Major learning curve ahead...
It's happened. You know that "thing". That "thing" that I've been dreading for years...specifically since my oldest son was in 5th grade! Yep, you guessed it -- he's got a girlfriend. He's really liked her for the last two years...guess I should've seen it coming.
However, his parents feathers are a little *ruffled*! You see, we have stressed to our children that we do not want them dating in jr/sr high. We would prefer to see them involved with lots of friendships. Group dating -- not exclusive relationships. We've encouraged them to save their hearts. Alas, it appears to have fallen on deaf ears! I am very thankful that he is being honest with us and we have open communication -- though I do feel like we are walking a very fine line right now. The young lady is a sweet girl, just not a christian.
It does appear that our son and us, his parents, are on a big learning curve. I am praying that the Lord would continue to give us wisdom and that JB would have his heart softened and ears opened to what is being said. But more importantly, that he would be listening to Christ.
Today I received some GREAT advice from my mom. She asked me if we have asked him if he is praying for this girl. And has he asked the Lord if this was HIS will for his life.
The next couple days will involve some more conversation, and I am planning to take his friend out for coffee to get to know her a little better and let her know our expectations of a dating relationship.....oh yea, you can imagine -- JB is not going to like that! From what I know of his friend I really like her.....but dating to convert is not a good thing EVER!
Off I go to pray....and Lord help me to hear YOU!
However, his parents feathers are a little *ruffled*! You see, we have stressed to our children that we do not want them dating in jr/sr high. We would prefer to see them involved with lots of friendships. Group dating -- not exclusive relationships. We've encouraged them to save their hearts. Alas, it appears to have fallen on deaf ears! I am very thankful that he is being honest with us and we have open communication -- though I do feel like we are walking a very fine line right now. The young lady is a sweet girl, just not a christian.
It does appear that our son and us, his parents, are on a big learning curve. I am praying that the Lord would continue to give us wisdom and that JB would have his heart softened and ears opened to what is being said. But more importantly, that he would be listening to Christ.
Today I received some GREAT advice from my mom. She asked me if we have asked him if he is praying for this girl. And has he asked the Lord if this was HIS will for his life.
The next couple days will involve some more conversation, and I am planning to take his friend out for coffee to get to know her a little better and let her know our expectations of a dating relationship.....oh yea, you can imagine -- JB is not going to like that! From what I know of his friend I really like her.....but dating to convert is not a good thing EVER!
Off I go to pray....and Lord help me to hear YOU!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Winding down...
Hard to believe that it is almost the end of May! This is my winding down week with work! So looking forward to it being over! (Til next September that is!) I keep telling myself that just a couple of more days and then I can breathe.
It's been a gorgeous Memorial Day weekend. I am so thankful for all those who have served our country, and those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice...it is a gift that I do not take lightly, because of their sacrifice my family has freedom and their families have suffered loss.
Here's looking forward to June.
It's been a gorgeous Memorial Day weekend. I am so thankful for all those who have served our country, and those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice...it is a gift that I do not take lightly, because of their sacrifice my family has freedom and their families have suffered loss.
Here's looking forward to June.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thankful for the sunshine!
That glowing ball of orange is hanging in the sky today. I'm so thankful for the brightness it brings through my kitchen windows... There are some nasty dark clouds hanging around, threatening rain drops -- occasionally blocking out the sun, I'm hopeful they will soon blow away. It has been a long hard winter and spring has teased us off and on these last few weeks, I'm praying it will soon be here to stay!
Spring always brings forth the promise of new life, new growth and a fresh optimistic outlook. The Lord knows that I, as well as many of my friends an loved ones, need that promise of newness, boundless optimism that life will get better. That sweet assurance that, "the things impossible with men are possible with God." (Luke 18:27)
For me there is so much hope and encouragement in that verse, at this point in life there are some "impossible" situations, in my eyes, situations I've given up on. Some that I rarely bother to pray about anymore...needs that need a fresh breath of life, of hope, a healing touch from the Hope Giver. Reassurance that there is commitment, that there is love, that selfishness will be overcome and vows will be remembered, honored and cherished. Reassurance that the Great Healer still heals ... fresh hope for that healing touch from the Great Physician to ones who are holding up there arms and asking for health. Fresh hope...fresh life...a fresh breath from the ONE to whom nothing is impossible.
Spring always brings forth the promise of new life, new growth and a fresh optimistic outlook. The Lord knows that I, as well as many of my friends an loved ones, need that promise of newness, boundless optimism that life will get better. That sweet assurance that, "the things impossible with men are possible with God." (Luke 18:27)
For me there is so much hope and encouragement in that verse, at this point in life there are some "impossible" situations, in my eyes, situations I've given up on. Some that I rarely bother to pray about anymore...needs that need a fresh breath of life, of hope, a healing touch from the Hope Giver. Reassurance that there is commitment, that there is love, that selfishness will be overcome and vows will be remembered, honored and cherished. Reassurance that the Great Healer still heals ... fresh hope for that healing touch from the Great Physician to ones who are holding up there arms and asking for health. Fresh hope...fresh life...a fresh breath from the ONE to whom nothing is impossible.
"There is a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail....I will rise when He calls my name. No more sorrow, no more pain. I will rise on eagle's wings before my God fall on my knees, and rise...And I hear the cry of every longing heart, WORTHY IS THE LAMB..." Chris Tomlin
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
...It's a Merry-Go-Round!!
And I'm getting dizzy! The extra, extra busy time of the year has hit!! If I make it through the next two weeks that would be great!!! Between schools, sports, special projects, school projects, sports, work....whew!! I do enjoy it though -- but boy it certainly deserves a day at the beach when it is all done! :)
There is one day a week I just feel like a taxi driver between 3pm and 6pm!! Most of the time I make the kids walk home from school (even though they are bussed), but Wednesdays are just too busy!..... Last week I had to laugh as I waved goodbye to my neighbor lady who was working in her flower beds. A bit later I waved hello. A bit later I waved goodbye -- then hello again! Carol was laughing too...she had 5 children and well remembers the days I am now living!
When my children were babies I often thought life would be less busy when they got older!! What silly thinking on my part! It stayed just as busy -- only it is a different busy and they are usually not at home! I am enjoying it, I'm enjoying my kids being able to chat and tease. I'm enjoying that the correcting is getting less and less (and boy do they find it painful to lose their ipods, or xbox!!).
There was a time I did not want my children to have the "gadgets" -- and while they do not have a lot of gadgets they do have a few and there removal for bad behavior is VERY effective! :) I'm pleased with the responsibility I see them beginning to take. I love how they love their sister! (To the point they let her sleep in their room so she doesn't have to be "all by herself"!!) It's also lots of fun to have them cook dinner! They can be very creative....it's good the boys are learning these skills for the future, I want them eating more than just mac-n-cheese and hot dogs!
Well this is all I have time for today....it's almost 6am and the merry-go-round is getting ready to start turning! I work all week and then Friday I go visit butterflies with my daughter! Right now I don't even want to think about the weekend...looks like we are double booked on everything this weekend! Everyone is hoping we find time for laundry! ;)
There is one day a week I just feel like a taxi driver between 3pm and 6pm!! Most of the time I make the kids walk home from school (even though they are bussed), but Wednesdays are just too busy!..... Last week I had to laugh as I waved goodbye to my neighbor lady who was working in her flower beds. A bit later I waved hello. A bit later I waved goodbye -- then hello again! Carol was laughing too...she had 5 children and well remembers the days I am now living!
When my children were babies I often thought life would be less busy when they got older!! What silly thinking on my part! It stayed just as busy -- only it is a different busy and they are usually not at home! I am enjoying it, I'm enjoying my kids being able to chat and tease. I'm enjoying that the correcting is getting less and less (and boy do they find it painful to lose their ipods, or xbox!!).
There was a time I did not want my children to have the "gadgets" -- and while they do not have a lot of gadgets they do have a few and there removal for bad behavior is VERY effective! :) I'm pleased with the responsibility I see them beginning to take. I love how they love their sister! (To the point they let her sleep in their room so she doesn't have to be "all by herself"!!) It's also lots of fun to have them cook dinner! They can be very creative....it's good the boys are learning these skills for the future, I want them eating more than just mac-n-cheese and hot dogs!
Well this is all I have time for today....it's almost 6am and the merry-go-round is getting ready to start turning! I work all week and then Friday I go visit butterflies with my daughter! Right now I don't even want to think about the weekend...looks like we are double booked on everything this weekend! Everyone is hoping we find time for laundry! ;)
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Spring Break!
It has been a wonderful week! Everyone is home and it is spring break! We have just enjoyed being home and not doing anything! Relaxing together! The boys are getting a little stir crazy, so tonight we plan to go late night bowling (I couldn't believe how excited they were for that!) and tomorrow we'll probably go see a movie -- we all have free tickets so it'll be cheap fun. We would like to go to the zoo or the aquarium, but that over a hundred bucks or so after it's all been said and done, but here in the Pacific Northwest we have our wonderful rain that does not seem to want to disappear! :)
Been struggling with life "going on". Back home life goes on and continues to be busy and chaotic and all the good things that are involved in that! And my life with my family goes on here -- in away I feel like each of us is missing out....and I really feel for my Dad, who is missing out! Missing his memory, missing his home, missing his family, missing familiarity! I feel guilty that my life continues, and in a way I feel like I've just allowed him to be shut away and forgotten about in the nursing home. Though I do know that that is the best place for him to be, the last several nights I lay awake at night feeling like I'm grieving again -- Alzheimer's kills in stages....
Today I am thankful that I can trust the Lord with all of those I love and with all the situations that weigh heavily on my heart! I know that the power that raised Christ from the dead, healed the sick and lame is still just as powerful today and I can rest in Him, knowing that He is in control.
Been struggling with life "going on". Back home life goes on and continues to be busy and chaotic and all the good things that are involved in that! And my life with my family goes on here -- in away I feel like each of us is missing out....and I really feel for my Dad, who is missing out! Missing his memory, missing his home, missing his family, missing familiarity! I feel guilty that my life continues, and in a way I feel like I've just allowed him to be shut away and forgotten about in the nursing home. Though I do know that that is the best place for him to be, the last several nights I lay awake at night feeling like I'm grieving again -- Alzheimer's kills in stages....
Today I am thankful that I can trust the Lord with all of those I love and with all the situations that weigh heavily on my heart! I know that the power that raised Christ from the dead, healed the sick and lame is still just as powerful today and I can rest in Him, knowing that He is in control.
Friday, February 27, 2009
...sunshine??
Ahh...yes! The sun is shinning today and it is warming up!! I love the Pacific Northwest!! The sun really does make a difference in one's disposition. I have so many things I need to do--but I think I'm going to go run errands this morning so this afternoon I can go running with my youngest son! He is so into fitness and working out! Pretty sure it is an attempt to keep up with his older brothers! :-) Anyway...the fresh air will be good for me! :-) And I'm not even going to take my ipod with me -- just going to listen to the birds! And pray.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Longing...
As a believer in Christ Jesus I have a longing to be with HIM. I long to go HOME. HOME where HE is, where there is no more sickness, no more worry, no more trials or temptations. To be fully surrounded by HIS love for me, to grasp what HE has done for me, to worship HIM in all HIS beauty and splendor.
The toil and trouble life brings gives us a choice to run to HIM and fall at HIS feet and wait on HIM or to run and try to fix things independently. The first choice is hard, it takes the control away from me...but do I really have control in the first place? Running to Jesus makes that longing all the more intense...this earth really isn't my home...but it is my opportunity to point people to Jesus in spite of "everything". So at HIS feet I humbly kneel, feeling battered, bruised and defeated. But having full knowledge that one day HE will win the victory.
So as I sit here longing for Jesus, I know that HE is here with me right now. And praying and trusting HIM is the most powerful way to bring healing, hope and wholeness to those in need, to those I love and to situations totally out of my control.
The toil and trouble life brings gives us a choice to run to HIM and fall at HIS feet and wait on HIM or to run and try to fix things independently. The first choice is hard, it takes the control away from me...but do I really have control in the first place? Running to Jesus makes that longing all the more intense...this earth really isn't my home...but it is my opportunity to point people to Jesus in spite of "everything". So at HIS feet I humbly kneel, feeling battered, bruised and defeated. But having full knowledge that one day HE will win the victory.
So as I sit here longing for Jesus, I know that HE is here with me right now. And praying and trusting HIM is the most powerful way to bring healing, hope and wholeness to those in need, to those I love and to situations totally out of my control.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
...humbled and lessons learned..
This weekend has been very humbling. Obviously living in a small community people know that Will has been unemployed since the end of October. Wednesday was very traumatic for me as the fuel pump in our vehicle went out when I was at the church for Emily-Joy's piano practice. Our Wednesday evening study is the Truth Project, so the church was beginning to have several people arriving for it...long story short, a mechanic friend went under the van and kicked the fuel pump~which was enough to get it going and get us home. But then came the cost of replacing that fuel pump as that vehicle is our only source of affordable transportation. Already there are bills that are not being paid, and this added expense was a HUGE stress for us.
On Friday night we had a house full of people over for the teen progressive dinner. We fed them brownie sundaes. It was a good evening and we had a great time with 30 people here. On Saturday morning Will was picking his phone up from the little counter and noticed an envelope addressed to us -- just our names, no stamp....inside was a large sum of cash. Almost enough to pay for our fuel pump. We got a great deal on our fuel pump through a partner store we have with our little online business (www.lifedesigned.biz), the mechanic was going to charge us $453.00 and we were able to order it (Parts America) and then pick it up at Shucks for $250.00. The mechanics bill was a little less than what he quoted us so the repairs were under 1000.00. PRAISE THE LORD! It was still steep enough to hurt us, but at least some of the sting was taken out.
Saturday evening the door bell rang. Some friends were at the door with arms overflowing with groceries. We were overwhelmed. They dropped it off and left and as we unpacked the boxes we found a card with a check for another large amount. Shock, thankfulness.
Lesson learned. Many people have asked us how we are doing and to let them know if there is anything that they can do for us. We appreciate that, we appreciate their concern. However...it is very hard to ask people for help...of course we need help! But to put a man in that position isn't right. I've seen the concern on my husband's face, I've seen tears in his eyes....I praise the Lord for people who see the need, people who listen to the Lord's prompting and obey. I've learned to just pick up the reins and do something...anonymously leaving cash, or dropping off groceries....taking the initiative and listening to the Holy Spirit in how HE wants us to minister to those who have been put in unplanned situations.
So with a humbled thankful heart I thank the Lord for HIS encouragement, provisions and the lesson learned.
On Friday night we had a house full of people over for the teen progressive dinner. We fed them brownie sundaes. It was a good evening and we had a great time with 30 people here. On Saturday morning Will was picking his phone up from the little counter and noticed an envelope addressed to us -- just our names, no stamp....inside was a large sum of cash. Almost enough to pay for our fuel pump. We got a great deal on our fuel pump through a partner store we have with our little online business (www.lifedesigned.biz), the mechanic was going to charge us $453.00 and we were able to order it (Parts America) and then pick it up at Shucks for $250.00. The mechanics bill was a little less than what he quoted us so the repairs were under 1000.00. PRAISE THE LORD! It was still steep enough to hurt us, but at least some of the sting was taken out.
Saturday evening the door bell rang. Some friends were at the door with arms overflowing with groceries. We were overwhelmed. They dropped it off and left and as we unpacked the boxes we found a card with a check for another large amount. Shock, thankfulness.
Lesson learned. Many people have asked us how we are doing and to let them know if there is anything that they can do for us. We appreciate that, we appreciate their concern. However...it is very hard to ask people for help...of course we need help! But to put a man in that position isn't right. I've seen the concern on my husband's face, I've seen tears in his eyes....I praise the Lord for people who see the need, people who listen to the Lord's prompting and obey. I've learned to just pick up the reins and do something...anonymously leaving cash, or dropping off groceries....taking the initiative and listening to the Holy Spirit in how HE wants us to minister to those who have been put in unplanned situations.
So with a humbled thankful heart I thank the Lord for HIS encouragement, provisions and the lesson learned.
January 20/09
...I thought I was trusting...
Earlier this week I had a startling realization!
DH was laid off at the end of October, the construction industry has since con’t to go downhill with no end in sight, but I thought I for the most part had handled it really well. I thought that I was fully leaning on the Lord and trusting that HE would get us through this. Sure I’ve had moments of worry and concern and I won’t answer the phone (my dh deals with that). BUT…I was at the grocery store on Monday and as I was filling my little basket I all of a sudden could not breath. My heart was pounding, I was seeing stars and I felt sheer terror!! I managed to pick up the couple of remaining items and headed to the cashier — I only felt worse. My head started to spin and feel like it was going to explode and my chest felt like I had an elephant sitting on it.
I was having a panic attack!! Overwhelmed, despair, distrust, depression, you name it, I felt it. And to date I still have not been able to shake that feeling. I wonder “where are you Lord?” Why has HE not answered, what lessons still have to be learned. I understand the economy is tight and more and more layoffs are happening, but I seriously thought that HE would provide a job for us. Yet, we remain unemployed and the fuel pump just went out on our vehicle and I may have to make a trip home in the next several weeks, what little was saved is gone…
Yet, I “lay my head down to sleep and pray the Lord my soul to keep”…my family has a place to lay our heads down, we have warmth and food and HE has given me today to give back to HIM.
Today I choose to trust Him. I choose to live for Him, and I choose to lean on Him to handle tomorrow. And I am praying that the depression that is starting to sink into Will's life would be lifted and that the Lord would give Him a new freshness and trust.
So thankful for all God's provisions for us.
Earlier this week I had a startling realization!
DH was laid off at the end of October, the construction industry has since con’t to go downhill with no end in sight, but I thought I for the most part had handled it really well. I thought that I was fully leaning on the Lord and trusting that HE would get us through this. Sure I’ve had moments of worry and concern and I won’t answer the phone (my dh deals with that). BUT…I was at the grocery store on Monday and as I was filling my little basket I all of a sudden could not breath. My heart was pounding, I was seeing stars and I felt sheer terror!! I managed to pick up the couple of remaining items and headed to the cashier — I only felt worse. My head started to spin and feel like it was going to explode and my chest felt like I had an elephant sitting on it.
I was having a panic attack!! Overwhelmed, despair, distrust, depression, you name it, I felt it. And to date I still have not been able to shake that feeling. I wonder “where are you Lord?” Why has HE not answered, what lessons still have to be learned. I understand the economy is tight and more and more layoffs are happening, but I seriously thought that HE would provide a job for us. Yet, we remain unemployed and the fuel pump just went out on our vehicle and I may have to make a trip home in the next several weeks, what little was saved is gone…
Yet, I “lay my head down to sleep and pray the Lord my soul to keep”…my family has a place to lay our heads down, we have warmth and food and HE has given me today to give back to HIM.
Today I choose to trust Him. I choose to live for Him, and I choose to lean on Him to handle tomorrow. And I am praying that the depression that is starting to sink into Will's life would be lifted and that the Lord would give Him a new freshness and trust.
So thankful for all God's provisions for us.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The New Year...
There are so many goals that I have for this new year, so many it is a little overwhelming to think about. I've read a blog where they are focusing on one word for the year. I'm juggling two words -- family and community. Not sure where it will end up, today I lean towards family as my oldest turns 16! Literally I do not know where the time has gone.
When I was single I had so many aspirations of what I would do for the Lord, where I would go, how I would serve. Then I had my first child, and life has often seemed to be just survival. This year I want to make a conscious effort to be more relational with my husband, children, parents, sisters and brothers. From out of that I will be able to have *overflow* into the community. Through my children's friends, sports, etc.
More thoughts coming!
When I was single I had so many aspirations of what I would do for the Lord, where I would go, how I would serve. Then I had my first child, and life has often seemed to be just survival. This year I want to make a conscious effort to be more relational with my husband, children, parents, sisters and brothers. From out of that I will be able to have *overflow* into the community. Through my children's friends, sports, etc.
More thoughts coming!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
